some beautiful memories

 

hi there!!
finally I’m not able to move on from her, why she always moving in my mind I know I am expressing too much but It doesn’t matter because I’m expressing these things in my own laptop and in my own space so it doesn’t means to anyone and be aware of the truth is not wrong so and I also accept that she doesn’t like me back ever according to the initial situation but there is some possibility may be someday she will love me but It is just my own expectation and I know expecting too much is bad but I have to believe so it is better to just not expect too much from her. And I have to live with this truth and I know that it is hurt me a lot but love is not always to get her, sometime leaving them is also a love and I have to make myself strong so that I can leave with that truth and I know I will learn to live with this pain and heartbreak with the time,

but I’ll always love her even she doesn’t love me back, but I’m happy that she is happy my happiness lies in her happiness if she is happy then I am happy I know I my writing too big words but this is reality and this the truth and this is what I actually feel so my words for her is not fake it 100% real. I love her I never thought that this will happen to me anytime but it is what it is, I can’t do anything the only thing that I can do it I can put some efforts to make her mine and make her realize that I’m build for her. and I want you to help me with this and pls try to make her feel my love towards her.

I just want to stay with her my whole life I don’t want to lose her, I know I love her with my pure heart but as we all know a men never get her favorite women, that’s the harsh reality but I really want someone love me back as I love them I know everyone say your parents love you I know and I accept that and I love my parents too but I want someone who support me who love me and help in every situation whether it will be a good situation or bad situation and I want that someone is her. I really too badly love her but I know she will never realize that, why I so hurt right now why everyone whom I love leave me and never give me that of love like I gave her I also deserve love. I just hoping from last some years may be someday somebody love me as I love them but I never found that anyone I doesn’t know what is your plan but please write something good for me I know you have already a great plan for me or may be if you don’t, than you will but pls I just want you to make it that good that I never expected may be better than my expectation but pls make it little bit quick.

 

And I don’t know where I am mistaking to make her feel comfortable or make her believe in me, I don’t know I might have worst skill to express myself Infront of any girl but I really have a good feeling for her, I know I had to wait for some time before expressing myself, this might be the one of the reasons.

But whatever time I spent with her it was marvelous, I always remember that time in my rest of life it was a great day and the things happened with me is memorable it will give me happiness whole life, if I will never get a chance to meet her again I have no regret whatever time I spent with her it was enough and best time of my whole life in respect of love, it will keep me happy and whenever I think about that time it will give me a another level of happiness. OH god thanks for that time I really glad you gave me a chance to spend time with her I will never forget that day in my life it was amazing. I really want to thank you. I hope God you will make her mine one day. I just wish and have to keep faith in you.

CHAPTER -02

 

24^th December 2023

Finally, after 2 and half year, and after putting too much effort I convinced her to meet and on 24^th Dec 2023 that was the day I met her after two years firstly she was not ready to meet but after insisting little bit she get ready to meet and that was the best day of my life I enjoyed a lot and she was also felt good everything was smooth.

But that day around 3‘o’ clock she texted me ok let’s meet I was so happy but I also had some plan with my office friends (colleagues), we were also meeting after 1 years, and I’m was in the middle of the meeting and in between I got a text from her, so I had not too much time to spend with them because she was already reached the destination so I explained everything to my colleagues and asked for permission to leave them soon. And remember she was already at the destination she was waiting for me there from last 15 min and I just wrap up everything after spending around 30 min with my colleagues, and asked my girl to change the meeting destination so I will get some time and I can catch her early so I asked her the same to do and she did this now again she reached there so quickly

And now it has been 2 hours she was waiting for me and I’m still struggling to reach the destination and finally I reached there after 2 and half hours and met her, she was little bit mad on me but it was ok because she waited around 3hrs for me so she had right to do the same.

When I reached there I saw a girl in a blue jeans and red top and with loose hair she was looking so beautiful had a little bag with her, she was so anxiously looking at her phone and I guess she was madly looking for someone yeah It was me, when I met her she offer a handshake and when I grab her hand to shake it was little bit smaller than mine and so soft I can still feel her hand it hand was so cute and soft and beautiful it was the first time I touches some girl hand. You can’t imagine that feeling was literally amazing and after little bit of chit chat, we decided to go HOUSE OF DELICIOUS to have some food because we both were hungry. And the funny thing Is that I even don’t know where it is so technically saying she took me there and even order food for me that was so amazing as a introvert person she is fulfilling all my dream and make me feel special it was may be normal for her but for me it was like I m with my dream girl.

 

She order a roll for me and a Momo’s and chicken lollipop for herself and a cold drink, she poured the drink in my glass it was like mama taking care of her child that is purely different I know I will never experience that thing again In my life or I hope I will want to experience again this it was literally amazing time, I was just noticing her form the starting she was looking so good and amazing like a wifey kind, she start the conversation and stared telling me here there stuffs and I was just looking at her madly her lips was dry little bit she has a mole in her eyer, her eye is so precious for me it was so beautiful and she was looking so amazing I have not word to express her she was so precious to me.

 

After around spending 2 hours I paid the bill and moved ahead our home she said to me she – go and grab some vehicle for your home I can handle mine I will go with metro,

But how can I leave her alone so I request her can I drop you, then she agreed and when we were walking on the street so many Bollywood things happened,

The first thing is that she treated me so well and care like a child it was like a couple where one is talkative obviously, she and me quit guy a perfect example for extrovert and introvert

And second thing when we were walking her hair got stuck in my jacket arm button woo it was amazing

And the thirdly when we were sitting on rickshaw, I was just beside her she put her head on my shoulder and I not fully but partially because it was my first time, I was experiencing something like that so I was not that much confident

So, I partially grab her that felling was had different kind of satisfaction and happiness it was amazing brother I literally want to spend that kind of night again it was amazing.

I wish I will again live that moment with her, I want to experience that again with her, just only with her, if it is not possible then whatever time I spend and enjoyed with her I will never forget that it was literally very special day for me in my entire life I know maybe I will get many enjoyable even more amazing nights ad days but this one has special space in my heart and also, she is special for me.

I wish I can again live this moment and I’m aware whatever I write or wish will never come true I don’t know which kind of curse is that but please try develop again this moment with her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER – 3

Whatever I write it never going to in real, umm am I right or not? I don’t know why are you doing this to me from the starting. whatever I write and think about the things that I want to accomplished it never going to happen with me, what is this.

This is not the first time I notice this thing whatever I want anything and I write about this to you, it never happens with me why?

I don’t know you do these things for my betterment or not but please try to understand my felling for her I really want to be with her

Yesterday I write about my felling here and you know what happen with me just opposite of whatever I want. I don’t know what is this, is this a curse or some kind of blessing I’m so confused right now I just want to stay happy with her.

You know what happened with me, she started ignoring me I guess she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore she is not interested in me or maybe she got a new boy why you create girls like that are they doesn’t have any feeling?

If they do why they or she ignoring me I know whatever I writing here is not going to be happen with me it like I just making my heart clear here and I feel so relax because I write those things which I could not tell to anyone so that make me feel good I have someone to whom I can tell anything.

Listen this the last thing I want to say you and you must have to do that for me as a friend and you know that friends always help each other and you should have to do that for me

Please help me to make her mine, I know love is not always about getting her or want her but I really love her and I want to be with her so please your work is that please develop some feeling for me in her heart and make her fall in love this is my request to you and you have to help me in this as a friend

Please I don’t have any bad intention and you know that already I literally have pure feeling for her. I just want to spend some of moment of my life with her or if possible then my entire with her and you must have to do that it’s a request to one friend to another friend and please be little bit serious about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER-4

This might be the end of our situationship, I guess because let me tell you what happened yesterday on 14^th Feb on valentine day, it was so funny on that day I got this kind of reaction, so what happened yesterday I texted her I MISS YOU in the morning and she text me back after some time ACCHA then I said HMM too much then she texted back Q I texted her some cheesy line to make her feel special and good and what I got in return is some rude message and a lot text saying you know I already told you I will not say I again and again I don’t love you, then I said I know that I was just missing you and trying to flirt with you she said I don’t like this and she blocked me. Umm that might be not wrong from her side but I felt so bad.

 

But that’s ok loving someone doesn’t means she or he love you back and sometime letting her love is also a love if she doesn’t like me that’s ok, I can handle myself I know it is going to be so difficult for me. And I know I always say the same thing to make myself calm but in deep I know I want her so badly.

 

It a request to you I always request you to do something for me but I don’t know why are you not doing this please do it for me I want her, please spell something that she will become mine in no time. It a humble request to I don’t know to whom I requesting but I just believe whoever whom I requesting maybe he/she has ability to fulfill my wish and maybe it will come true someday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER-5

What if she accepts my love,

If she really accept my love and give attention to my love and value me I am damn sure I will do anything for her even she can’t even imagine the things that I will give her, I will love her too much she can even imagine that love it will be a purest love she will ever feel and I will always try to never hurt her even I going through too much worse situation I will always make her happy and smile and people say ego win in love, ego what is this “EGO” ego doesn’t matter for me in love if I love someone I will never feel ashamed to put too much effort to make her happy and safe you can imagine what kind of world I already created with her in my mind that is so peaceful and full of happiness, I imagined a lot of stuff to do with her and experience all those stuff I always want to do with my love but

I don’t know why I’m so unlucky in love why people mostly those whom I love find me creepy and always try to get over from me I know I m little bit suspicious but I never have any bad intension of anyone I always want to make them happy specially those whom I love but literally this but hurt me a lot why people never understand me why they don’t think a single thing about me I also have heart I also feel bad and anxious why they don’t care about my feeling.

 

I also have some beautiful dream whom I want to make it real and enjoy in life, i also want to spend some time with my lady also want to hold her hand and walk on the street and want to look at her while talking want to cuddle her and also want to arrange her hair that’s make mee feel so good and happy I always want to do that stuff but why god no one like me why they always find me not good or always want to get rid of me this is so bad I don’t know but that’s hurt me a lot I don’t want to this please send someone who help me to fulfill my dreams this is not all in my list there a numerous things I want to enjoy in my life with my love or you can say it lady..

I want to hold her hand tight so she will never go away from me, I want to spend my whole night with her while talking, I want to arrange her soft and silky hair behind her ears, I also want to give her some gift so she will always remember and feel so special, I want to get some kind of gift from her, I want to cuddle with her.

I want she hold my arm while walking, and tell me everything about her life and what she experienced whole day, I want to listen her bak-bak and see me with love, I want to see in her eyes and want to kiss her softly

I want to travel whole world with her, I want I irritate her sometime and then convince her love. I want someone who also irritate me text me whole time and care about me call me for no reason show me some love but doing these little things I will be very happy I know I mentioning or expecting happiness from someone else so it never going to be fulfilled but this is what I want I want someone love me back like I live her, I want a lady who can take care of me and always be loyal and take stand with me in any situation and never leave me, and help to take decisions.

You know that I imagining her while writing this stuff but I know she doesn’t love me back, she blocked me she doesn’t want to stay with me I don’t know the reason why? I might not like that guy she really wants/ or up to her expectation.

CHAPTER-6

Some Memories

This was about my first day toward the new life I was going to start my life after college I went for an interview that day and got selected, next day I went there for the documentation and some form formalities, so the floor coordinator hand us some demo form of previous batch, so he gave one form to each new hire and I also got a demo form and that the first time I saw her, yeah in the form I got her form as a demo. I read whole form of her and I don’t know I remember everything what I read in the form, each detail, even I don’t have any intention to learn all the stuff and not so focused but still I have an idea what details she filled there, and after reading the form I started to looking for her, but I was unable to found her,

and then everything goes normal after a month we get selected for some process and guess what I was in her team and I even don’t know she was the girl I was looking for in the first day, but who know what will going to be happen next.

Before this I was never interacted to a girl before not only to a girl not to anyone I didn’t speak or talk frankly to anyone for a month and then this happened her first word for me is “YEAH CHUP KYU RHYA HAI BOLTA NHI HIA KYA?” and I still haven’t replied to her I was quite that time and as time moving day by day I started a little talk not to her directly but through my friend because I’m too shy, and then I started talking to her directly and after some time we started doing insult of each other not in a serious manner but in the funny manner, like we started cutting of each other talk and sometimes we fight punch each other.

This kind of things was happening and we are getting too much comfortable to each other and too frank, I still remember those days whenever there was a meeting in our row she directly came to my bench sit over it and I was on chair she always sit to close to me I don’t know may be she has this kind of nature with everyone, but was so magical for me, I don’t know but I was in love with her I always waited for her like is she present today or not, I always used to see towards her cubical is she available there or not or is she doing something, like I have no idea I was in love, but I was doing these kind of stuff and whenever there is system issue I always want to fix her system but one of my friend always interfere, it was not intentionally but always he fixed her system I never got a chance to fix that, but I don’t know I love to watch her and talk to her and fight with her, it was so much fun and I feel good.

 

I will never forget those days the ways she always sits beside me and on my desk and I was always excited to she her and always feel her presence even I search for her name when we upload the data how much she worked today? It’s like I want to be with her always, but I was totally unaware that I was in love with her,

I got to know after 1 years when I was not even close to her. And rest you already know what is going on every messed up I tried too many times but in return she blocked me for loving her. And even she said she doesn’t feel same as me as I feel for her, from her point of view she is right but my mind and heart and not ready to forget her. And accept it because the attention she gave me is not any girl give it to a normal guy or a friend I might thinking so much because I never experienced this kind of stuff ever, but the truth is I have a really pure feeling towards her I m in love with her I hope you understand and will allow me an opportunity to meet her again and make her mine.

Whenever I feel low, I write my story and though somewhere so I can feel relax or I believe there is someone who is listening to my story and someday maybe he will help me and understand me and do something magical and enlighten me.

I wrote a lot of stuff I was writing like this from so many years I even don’t know from 5 or 6 or maybe from before that I don’t know it works or not but I believe I have some friend where I can write anything without any hesitation and he will not judge me I guess this is the best idea to express how do you feel to tell someone without having anyone.